I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
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