wakey wakey hands off snakey
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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