not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
