It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
