ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
