sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
