I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
