Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
