I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
