rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
