your parents love me but you hate me
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I stole a fireplace last night.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize