This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
