Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Randomize
