lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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