Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
How does one acquire holy water?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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