Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
