Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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