Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
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