your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
