Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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