Everything about him screamed your future.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
