i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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