I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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