She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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