There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
