I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
