ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
