Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
