just come out here and I will go home with you...
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
