Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
