And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
