you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
