she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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