I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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