It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
