i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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