he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize