yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
