your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
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