so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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