so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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