So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
