His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
She made me pour olive oil on her.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
