dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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