You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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