My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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