oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I cut my penus on the lid.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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