First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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