he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize