I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
