i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
