Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
