My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Randomize