This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Randomize
