Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
