I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
