So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
You can't special order awesome
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
