you guys were way drunker than both of me
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
