Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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