I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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