my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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