So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Someone shattered a urinal.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
