Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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