Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
