Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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