I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
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