so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
