My brain says no but my pants say off.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
