I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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